The Burglar's Confession Sample
When petty criminal Robbie is wrongly suspected of torching a warehouse, he rushes in a panic to his lawyers for advice, only to find that their office has been burgled. Office girl Gail has reason to believe that her boyfriend Jake, who has got into bad company, is behind the burglary with his friends. She is afraid that she will be accused of aiding and abetting Jake by means of an ‘inside job’. Robbie’s arrival is a godsend for Gail. She concocts a plan to get herself and Robbie off their respective hooks, never dreaming that Robbie’s arrival is also a godsend for the quite different plans of Simone, the ambitious young lawyer who enters later in the scene.
GAIL You live on your own?
ROBBIE Yes.
GAIL So you don’t have an alibi for the warehouse fire?
ROBBIE That’s right.
GAIL Do you want an alibi?
ROBBIE Do I want an alibi? You work for a lawyer and have to ask?
GAIL I’ll give you one. Use this office.
ROBBIE I don’t understand…
GAIL This break in. Tell the police you broke into this office instead.
ROBBIE’S jaw drops.
ROBBIE D’you think they’d believe me?
GAIL Well, it wasn’t a very professional break in, so they might.
Oblivious to the insult, ROBBIE beams at her.
ROBBIE You tell me what to say.
GAIL Well, Jake wasn’t in at half past two, so it would have been then. It’s very important you get the time right. Understand?
ROBBIE I understand.
GAIL So tell me when you broke in here.
ROBBIE Half past two in the morning.
GAIL Well done. Now, the uniformed officer who came here said a jemmy had been used. So remember that too.
ROBBIE A jemmy. I used a jemmy. That’s easy, isn’t it? Is that all I have to say? What a brilliant alibi! I’ve never had anything like it!
GAIL Tell me again what time you did it.
ROBBIE Half past two.
GAIL Mind you don’t, ‘cos…
Stops as SIMONE arrives carrying files and books.
SIMONE Got it adjourned, thank God. Simpered up to the bench and old fool Mountjoy agreed. Practically had him in tears.
Dumps files and books on the desk, then notices ROBBIE.
What’s he doing here? We’re closed?
ROBBIE I’m…
GAIL He’s come to confess.
SIMONE Confess to what? Send him away.
ROBBIE obligingly starts to go, but GAIL hauls him back, glaring at him.
GAIL He’s come to confess to being our burglar. He broke in last night. At half past two.
SIMONE What? Don’t be silly.
Rather nervously snatches up a file and begins to flick through it.
GAIL He did. He’s admitted it.
ROBBIE I’ll confess again if you, Miss Osbourne. I used a…
SIMONE ignores him, cutting into his speech.
SIMONE Gail, Robbie would admit to anything for attention. Can’t you do something useful? Go and get me a coffee.
GAIL flounces off with a determined nod to ROBBIE. There is a little silence while SIMONE pretends to continue reading, but keeps glancing at ROBBIE thoughtfully.
Robbie… (She puts the file down) You didn’t really burgle this office at half past two, did you?
ROBBIE Yes I did.
SIMONE Of course you didn’t. You burgled it at four in the morning.