The
Comedy of the Marks
or
A Funny thing happened on the way to the Piazza
The Characters
Tam Mickle....Servant
to Angus Nairn
Lucietta....Landlady
of the Inn
Angus Nairn....A
Scottish exile
Irina Nazarovna....Resident
at the Inn
Ophelia Stratford }
Granville Stratford } Visitors
to
Kate Skinner }
the Inn
Renzo Chiarelli }
A Manservant....(non-speaking)
The Setting
The courtyard of Lucietta's Inn, Venice
The Period
The close of the 17th Century
Sample
Scene
The guests at
Lucietta's Inn are a motley collection. There are two Scottish exiles, Angus, a
penniless Laird and his long-suffering servant, Tam. There's an equally
penniless multi-national troupe of actors. How are they all thrown together in a
Venetian Inn? It all starts when.... well, you'll need to read the whole play.
To appreciate this scene, all you need to know is that the actors are pretending
to rehearse a play, a Commedia style knockabout improvised comedy with stock
characters like Pantalone, Colombina and Harlequin. The problem is, they don't
have a Harlequin.... until Tam is coerced into trying his hand at acting.
Despite having acted daft for years, Tam is a raw beginner at stylised Commedia,
so he needs a quick lesson. Kate, the only Scot amongst the actors, is only too
willing to volunteer, especially as she has set her sights on the hapless Tam.
KATE Let's
think o' Harlequin.
TAM On second thoughts, mebbe I cannae dae it.
KATE It's simple. Jist watch whit I dae and copy it. Right?
TAM I'm watchin.
KATE First, the stance. (She demonstrates. He copies - not too
accurately) I doot observation's no yin o' your stronger points. Shift that
leg. Head back. Tummy in.
TAM This feels daft.
KATE Jist change it aboot. Harlequin never staunds still for long.
Aye. We'll need to polish that later. Next comes the walk. (She demonstrates)
Like this. You try. (He does - badly) No, like this.
TAM If I walked like this ootby, I'd get some gey
queer looks.
KATE Belike you would. We'll try the dance instead.
TAM Dance? Naebody said onythin aboot dancin!
KATE You can shairly dance. Ony Scot can dance.
TAM No me. Last time I tried a hieland sword dance, my feet were in
bandages for a fortnight.
KATE We can but try. Watch this. (She demonstrates) You see?
Keep the weight on your taes. Very lightly. Let's see you. (He gallops about)
You're right. You cannae dance.
TAM If I practised....
KATE In ten year's time, whae kens? I'd better show you how tae
fall.
TAM When dae I fall?
KATE When you're hit.
TAM Hit?
KATE Like this. (She demonstrates. He falls) That wasnae
bad. Beginner's luck.
TAM Folk jist hit me?
KATE Pantalone does it a' the time. But you can hit back.
TAM Can I? I'll enjoy that bit.
KATE Now let's try the different emotions. (Moving close to him)
I'm shair you've got emotions.
TAM (retreating) Aye. Especially fear.
KATE Nae need tae teach that yin. We'll try happiness. Mind you'll
be wearin a mask so you must yase your eyes and mouth. Like this.
TAM Get awa!
KATE It's exaggerated. Larger than life.
TAM Like this?
KATE Smile mair. Can you no smile?
TAM I've forgotten.
KATE Try surprise then. (He
Plays by
Alan Richardson
